Unmei Wa Hidoi
by Sorceress Starya
Summary: The final battle is over, but the one inside the 'Kamui' still standing is still lacking a proper closing. Warning, this is angsty, depressing, and deals with suicide.


  
Unmei wa Hidoi...  
  
WAIII! This is my first X fanfic!! Excuse any mistakes, out-of-characterness, and anything else that might be wrong with this. I'm hoping this turns out to be a short, nice lil' angsty fanfic, so please enjoy, and send me comments, no flames, I know this may not be the best of fanfics, but I'm trying! ^^ Anyway, this fanfic is from Kamui POV, at the end of the final battle (The only reference I have is the movie, gomen!). Please don't read this if you don't like death, blood, and lots of good ol' angst. ^^ Enjoy!/i  
  
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The sun was starting to set, there was a reddish rue in the sky.... There was also red on my hands, thin ribbons of blood, trailing down my fingers. Fuuma.... It's Fuuma's blood... Fuuma's head, resting in my arms. His eyes are shut, he looks so peaceful, nothing like the evil bastard who seemed to take over his body, nothing like the Dragon of Earth, who took so many lives at the edge of his blade.   
  
Now I had lost everything I lived for. Everyone I seemed to hold close, died just for this... This future, that they won't be able to even see. Kotori, Fuuma, the other Dragon's of Heaven.... It isn't fair, that the people who gave their life for the Earth, won't get to live in it. Why should I be the only one with this privilege? Why did I have to be the only one to survive? Now I have to carry the torture of the other's on my shoulders.   
  
I settle my bleary gaze up at the sky, a sudden black color of night, if there were any stars out, I couldn't tell, the lights of the city blinding out the light of something so distant. The city, Tokyo, did anyone, besides the other Dragon's and myself, have any idea how close their were to death? Did anyone realize that, inspite of their rushed lives and chaotic habits, the world almost ended? And to think, people who had become so close to me, all gave their life, to save a world which will never know of what happened, nor appreciate the blood spilled.  
  
This thought only brought more tears to my eyes. Trails streamed down my cheeks. And I thought I couldn't cry anymore. I leveled my gaze once more to the city, a deep sense of something seemed to claw inside of me. Is it pain? Guilt? Sadness? Maybe all of them? I just want them to go away...  
  
I fell to my knees, but I didn't seem to really realize. My sword, resting at my side, another reminder of who's been lost because of fate. My shaky, red stained hand reached out and grasped the hilt, my own eyes staring back at me from the reflection of the blade. A pawn of fate... That's what I was... That's what all of us were. We were use, than sent out to die, no longer useful. Just a pawn... I've finished what was needed to be done, the last barrier fell, but only because the evil vanished. I killed my counterpart, my job is complete. So why can't I die too?  
  
The sword hummed. So warm, in my hands, the only comfort I can feel right now. The seductive song lulled me into a state of calmness, almost like a dream. I moved the blade closer, the sharp point pressing lightly against my chest. Fuuma... Kotori... I told you all I wanted, was a place for the both of you to live happily. Have you found? Are you both there now? Waiting for me to come and play again, as we did long ago? I swear, I can hear your voices, asking me to catch up, and join you both. A small smile appears on my face, yet tears are still falling. I want to join you both.... Maybe than I'll be happy? Will Subaru be there too? What about Sorata? And the others?   
  
"My job is done.... I'm no longer a pawn..."   
  
I thrusted forward, the sword cutting through as easily as a hot knife. It should have hurt, it looked like it hurt, blood fell, down my shirt and to the floor in a river. But it didn't hurt, it couldn't even compare to the way I felt. The voices are louder now... So clear... I pull the sword out, the silver blade stained red, a mix of Fuuma's blood and my own. It falls from my grasp, yet I don't hear it hit the floor. Kotori, Fuuma, everyone... I'll be with you all soon.... Things are becoming dark. I feel drugged, even keeping my eyes open feels like a difficult task.   
  
I fall, fall forever it seems. Everything is dark. It doesn't hurt anymore, my wound and my feelings. I hear a voice, so small, yet I could tell who it is from a mile away..  
  
"Kamui-chan... What are you doing lying down like that? C'mon! If you don't get up, Onii-chan says you can't join in this game... "  
  
I couldn't open my eyes, but I still felt a smile creep on my face. I could tell Kotori, or some form of her, was standing there, her hand held out for me to take. I reached up, my arm heavy as lead. I could see her, Fuuma, and the others waiting.   
  
"I'm....Coming....."  
  
My hand fell, a small spasm of pain shooting through my body, than settling. Everything's black now, I can't hear the voices anymore. I'ts cold now, and dark.... Fate took everything of mine away, except my life.... I guess they knew I'd take care of that...   
  
"Unmei.... Unmei... wa.... Hidoi....... "  
  
  
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What did you all think? A little depressing, no? I'm sorry if I just put any readers in a bad mood. Please send any comments you have to Staryiea@aol.com. Thanks for reading! Oh, and sorry for the few Japanese phrases in there, besides the honorfics, I felt using Japanese for the last sentence rather than English fit better.  
  
Jessica  
'Starya'  
The QOB  
Yami no Tenshi  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
http://www.geocities.com/innocent_chaos/ (Simple Chaos)  
http://www.geocities.com/midori_hitomi/ (Emerald Gaze)  
  



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